Grandma Jimmie’s Watermelon Pickle
This is Jimmie’s recipe so don’t screw it up. Proper measuring instruments required.
One medium Mason jar (not Ball or Atlas, just Mason, screw-top lid, patent 1858)
One big watermelon (old or new, it doesn’t matter one lick), cut into 1.25 ” x .75″ parallelograms, poke the seeds out with your pinky finger – or just leave them in.
Salt: four big soup spoons
Sugar: half a mug
Little Green Balls: one handful (look in spice cupboard.)
Vinegar: one bottle
Dump everything in the Mason jar. Shake it three times, but make sure you don’t drop it. WARNING: If your hands are wet or sweaty you will definitely drop it and make a huge mess and the glass shards will get in the linoleum and you’ll never get them out. But, if you do drop it, you can get some special rubber kitchen slippers at Woolworth.
Put the jar in the back of the ice box and go watch Guiding Light.
Whenever you remember, open jar and serve with toothpicks. Or Bobby Pins.
Best served on a hot porch.
****Would you like to know more about Grandma Jimmie? Her story coming soon.
Grandma Pia’s Lace Cookies
This recipe disintegrated but the cookies were incredible and you should have tasted them while you still had a chance.
Swedish meatball recipe coming soon.
** This spot reserved for non-American recipes only
Boil up a dozen eggs.
Run under cold water and crack shells. Pick off all the tiny pieces of shell, too.
Open a window and air out the kitchen.
Put all eggs in the biggest Mason jar you can find.
Douse with generic white vinegar. Add salt. Add sugar. Screw the top on tight.
If ever eaten, best experienced on a wooden bar stool with room temp Schlitz.
Three recipes are more than enough.
Go read a book or make a puppet.***
***Do you want to talk about puppets? Puppet Manifesto coming soon…